Results: Effort, expectations and disappointment!

Just a week before my birthday was the big day of my life, my CIE A Levels result day! 13^th August was the day when my family had sat down to rise with pride and honor for their son’s result. I had the burden of expectations which I had well carried off till that day. I let my family down who expected much but I crushed all their hopes. More than I have disappointed them, I have disappointed and let down my own self! I find it embarrassing and feel like crying in the agony of the pain I feel today and every day until I prove what I was what I am!  What does it take to have a good result? What defines a good result? Have I failed? The questions pop in my mind every day since I have had my disappointing result in my hand. But being disappointing is not the solution to get over my failures. A lot of self-realization and effort required to wash away the stains of failure.

We often try to blame others for our failure and make them the reason behind our fall. It has been so typical of us to bring in lame excuses to counter failure. It is our effort and hard work that determines whether we succeed or fail!  Unfortunately, I had not made any great effort to get what I had expected! I had an aim but just the aim. I wanted to get what I dreamt but didn't make the required effort, I only dreamt! We need to understand the difference between confidence and over confidence. Confidence arises with hard work, determination and self-belief whereas over confidence brews from the past performance and do nothing attitude! I was living in the delusional world all the time I was in A levels. I would see my O levels results and those “A” grades in that made me over confident and I took what was to come too casually! It was not like that I was not warned but I chose to ignore and let myself down.

“Every great man suffers a fall before he rises”, this is the line that many are telling me to boost myself so I can rise again and try! I am no great man and will never be if I continue the same way I have. But do grades tell how intelligent one is? I don’t know but this is what the world believes and this is how it works. Work hard, study with dedication and achieve. There is no shortcut and there is not more you can do. The guilt of not trying will haunt me till I succeed what I aimed for. I failed because I didn’t make the effort I didn’t try but dreamt! I have a smile of disappointment on my face trying to forget and striving for what I can do better but it is not easy to fake a smile when you know you have failed even if one succeeds in the future , not easy to get over with! Please don’t waste your time like I did, don’t waste the opportunities like I did! Live yourself and make yourself and your parents proud!

“No one fails if they learn from their failure; Life is about converting these failures into mega successes” MT